I usually summed up the year before it ends.
But for two years running, I am entering it much later than expected.
2015 was indeed interesting.
Moving off from 2014, I wasn't really sure what to look forward to.
Moving in with my first brother and mum was something that made 2015 more bearable. At least I have a 'more permanent' place to call home before I get my own. I realised the importance of having a space of your own. I guess most of us take things for granted. In this case, having a roof over your head. By default, we always assume it will be provided for us until you start to have your own family. But when things don't go as planned, that's where you have to start thinking on your feet and figure out "What's next?"
Mum's health was on and off. There were nights when I had to work late or working and I have to leave her at home alone. When she was unwell, like a mother, I always wished that I could stay by her side. At times, as I left the house, I could just see it in her eyes, wishing for me to stay with her. But she knew, her daughter isn't a rich man's child. Sometimes, the worse thoughts came creeping in, and I'd be too afraid to let her know, how I am worried for her health. Once, during the first week of October, I saw how she was battling with her own illness and to receive the news of the passing of her beloved brother. She was shaking in tears on the hospital bed. My heart crumbled. I could imagine that she couldn't even see her brother for the last time. But thank God, everything went smoothly and she was nursed back to health at home.
It was quite an aimless year when it comes to work department. Wasn't sure what is there to look forward to. Was still settling myself down and getting familiar with the current environment and work culture. No doubt, in some ways, I saw myself approaching certain issues in manners I couldn't imagine myself doing. It was kinda mundane. Just moving in motion. I was in a lesser stressed mode. But I wanted more.
Funny how, when you are not stressed enough, you lose your purpose and you feel pretty much redundant when you can't serve to the best of your capability. So I looked forward and kept trying to find projects to do and to be more of an asset to the work people.
People never fail to amaze me with their individual ways of thinking, acting and reacting.
Which brings me to the dating world.
I think, if I were to list down the men I've met.. especially these last few months, I would say, what have I missed all these while? Whilst waiting for that one knight in shining armour, I realised.. I wanted more than just a husband. I wanted a friend.. a best friend that I can talk to in wee hours about our dreams. A soul mate who trusts me even when we are miles apart. A lover that can sweep my feet off. A partner, who strives hard, hand in hand with me.
And I have concluded. I am indeed asking too much.
Oh well, that is why they say women are hard to please.
I pretty much hope that 2016 is gonna be far more exciting, challenging and fruitful than it has been..
