2014 passed by real quick!
Oh! Too fast!
2013 left me quite clueless on a lot of things.
So I told myself that 2014 would get better.
There are many things in life that you wished you had the answers. And then you thought you might finally get your "Happily Ever After" after that many things you were put through.
"Happily Ever After" at home.
"Happily Ever After" at work.
"Happily Ever After" in the love department.
"Happily Ever After" with great friends and family.
And I thought I have suffered enough.
I was given a glimpse of miracles happening. But to my dismay, it was rather short lived.
Little did you know, what is to come, is far worse than you can ever imagined.
The first quarter of the year, really had me.
I thought I was going to fall into depression again with all that was happening. My world felt like crumbling again.
Like Rachel once said, "Bottom of the sea. 50 feet of crap. Then me."
It felt like a thousand feet deeper.
I questioned myself almost everything in life.
It felt like the world was coming down on me again. I asked myself, "Will I ever get back up again?"
I almost gave up on life.
I almost gave up on everything.
I almost gave up on hope.
Again.
Forget about being patient. I asked if this was fair.
In a fit of anger, I asked God, if the happiness that was given to me, was something that He was going to take it all away in that short time, I rather not have it at all.
We just take things for granted, don't we?
We tend to expect miracles to happen.
We hope for things to get better.
We expect good things not change and remain as they are.
But we forget, no matter how hard you try, no matter how bad you want it, no matter how good you think you are, no matter how easy it may seems, if it's not meant to be, it'll never be.
And that's when I realised, whatever that has happened, it is all in God's will cause He knows best.
And you hit that deepest part of the rock bottom, you have nothing else to lose, or rather nothing else to do but just swim back up.
That's when I totally understand, that nothing is permanent. Nothing.
That's when I decided to make that change.
Moving forward with the moving out of the house and looking forward to owning my own home.
Getting back at mending my broken heart.
Start afresh without all that hurt.
To get back what I've lost
To feel alive again
To understand the people around me
To sacrifice what is really worthy for.
Undeniably, there were days that I felt like I was failing again. Feeling lost. Unsure of what may come. Then again, who knows? Then, I will be reminded that nothing is permanent. Be it happiness or sadness.
Am I totally happy where I am right now?
I can't reply with a straight 'No'.. but I definitely am grateful for the things I have been put through and achieved so far.
The beautiful people around me made it all possible too.
Like everyone knows, as you grow older, you just know who to keep and who you need to move on from.
Not because for wealth or fame. But circumstances forced you to. And for some, your time is just up.
One of the key lessons I have learnt in 2014:
Thou shall embrace change. And adapt.
I am looking forward for 2015.
Looking forward for another chapter of exciting journey in life and the people who will partake in it. Be it at home, work, social or love.
2015 marks the decade that I had never imagined myself being in. And I survived!
And this, I must thank the men that I have dated, for without them, the decade mark wouldn't be possible. ;)
The first quarter of the year, really had me.
I thought I was going to fall into depression again with all that was happening. My world felt like crumbling again.
Like Rachel once said, "Bottom of the sea. 50 feet of crap. Then me."
It felt like a thousand feet deeper.
I questioned myself almost everything in life.
It felt like the world was coming down on me again. I asked myself, "Will I ever get back up again?"
I almost gave up on life.
I almost gave up on everything.
I almost gave up on hope.
Again.
Forget about being patient. I asked if this was fair.
In a fit of anger, I asked God, if the happiness that was given to me, was something that He was going to take it all away in that short time, I rather not have it at all.
We just take things for granted, don't we?
We tend to expect miracles to happen.
We hope for things to get better.
We expect good things not change and remain as they are.
But we forget, no matter how hard you try, no matter how bad you want it, no matter how good you think you are, no matter how easy it may seems, if it's not meant to be, it'll never be.
And that's when I realised, whatever that has happened, it is all in God's will cause He knows best.
And you hit that deepest part of the rock bottom, you have nothing else to lose, or rather nothing else to do but just swim back up.
That's when I totally understand, that nothing is permanent. Nothing.
That's when I decided to make that change.
Moving forward with the moving out of the house and looking forward to owning my own home.
Getting back at mending my broken heart.
Start afresh without all that hurt.
To get back what I've lost
To feel alive again
To understand the people around me
To sacrifice what is really worthy for.
Undeniably, there were days that I felt like I was failing again. Feeling lost. Unsure of what may come. Then again, who knows? Then, I will be reminded that nothing is permanent. Be it happiness or sadness.
Am I totally happy where I am right now?
I can't reply with a straight 'No'.. but I definitely am grateful for the things I have been put through and achieved so far.
The beautiful people around me made it all possible too.
Like everyone knows, as you grow older, you just know who to keep and who you need to move on from.
Not because for wealth or fame. But circumstances forced you to. And for some, your time is just up.
One of the key lessons I have learnt in 2014:
Thou shall embrace change. And adapt.
I am looking forward for 2015.
Looking forward for another chapter of exciting journey in life and the people who will partake in it. Be it at home, work, social or love.
2015 marks the decade that I had never imagined myself being in. And I survived!
And this, I must thank the men that I have dated, for without them, the decade mark wouldn't be possible. ;)
