Too Late

You not always here physically

Recalling e moments slowly

U cant be here for me i know

And its not as if u want to tho

U've been e reason dat kept me going

The time wen u were beside me lying

Although it was all for e wrong reasons

Felt like u've stayed wif me thruout e seasons

If only i could turn back to e time wen we first met

Probably, it wont have to turn out dis bad

Ma hopes & dreams for u didnt quite change

Wish i could hold on till we both age

Ma heart cant stop calling ur name

Believe me i'm not trying to play dis game

Just wish dat i could be e last one standing

The reason for u to keep on loving

But wateva we have now

Made me glad sumhow

U've been the reason dat kept me smiling

U've been the reason dat kept me going

I really do jas wanna wait, wait, & wait

Till u tell me.. to give up cos I'm too late

Friday, July 29, 2005 at 03:53 PM in Just The Feeling For The Day, So Sad

Murder 2

Running up & down e stairs

Cos i forget to put on e pairs

Of shoe dat u once got me

Quite some time ago wen we

Were still able to tell e diff

Btwn e beauty of cliffs & reefs

Remember wen we were walking down e aisle

U stopped n told me u'll b back in awhile

wat happened then cos it felt like u didn't come back at all

And i had to make ma way back to the season of fall

Tried ma best lkg among e dead leaves for ur ring

But turned out dat u already made her ur queen

Couldnt bring maself to set out sailing again

Was too much pain n nuthing dat i've gained

Slowly strumming wif ma fingers on ma left hand

Juggling ma thoughts while holding on wif ma ryt hand

Wondering, U wished me luck, happy & everythin'

But how come the hopes became so thin

Hey u got any time for me at the moment?

This time round need no trust for u to earn

Wait a min

So wat if u really have got e time

On second thought..

I'd rather take all of ur time & dime

Let u rot, wilt & die

All the more u wont have to lie

To dat beautiful wife of urs

Probably,she wouldnt care of cos

When she's seen ur shrivelled skin

Dats wat u've always been

N when I tell her she'll deny all e shit

She got no idea who's she tryng to beat

Oh.. tell me now dat I'm being mean?

Wat, u hadn't noticed & not seen?

Too late, dats wat u always told me

A late bloomer.. u'r dead ryt dats me..

Let me out..

Let me out..

Catching ma breath running up e stairs now..

Was sheilding but got shot somehow

Caught in e latest shootout

Cos ma time was running out

Damn..

We didn't have dat bond

Apologies aight..

Guess ur already gone

Shall feed the dogs ur bones

Will do u a favour

N tell her u got stucked in the cones

Friday, July 29, 2005 at 04:25 AM in Insane Crazy

Happily Ever After

I wish to seek the truth

Without going out while cooped up in dis booth

Knowing dat it has always been out there

But I dun wish to take ma chances to breathe in sum air

I turned around

I dun need a rebound

Any sense I make

Is all for put ups' sakes

You showed me things which I dun wanna go thru

But I dun wanna be a coward and admit I'm afraid of it too

Why does it hurt when u're e cause of it to bleed

Why tell me it's starting to give u e creeps

I just wanna live

Without this agony u had to give

I'll plead

I'll beg,

I'll cry,

I'll die…

To see US living happily ever after

If only u could come back

ALL of U

I'll promise I'll be good

I'll promise I'll be nice

I'll promise I'll love you

As much as you do

And more than you

Saturday, July 23, 2005 at 01:15 AM in In Within Me

Siti Nurbaini

Yep.. 16th July 1982.. 2 weeks ryt after Naz!! Well.. slightly~~ more than 2 wks..

She's sure.... always far from me.. well.. always missing in action.. But she's so dear to me.. I wouldn't know if I can live without her.. But it seems.. wif her absence.. I still can survive.. Haha..

Lemme see... Our friendship started off almost 10 yrs ago.. Ma classmate in Sec 1.. the first person I spoke to in the entire school... :) Way back then.. sum mistook us as twins.. Why? I dun really know... Not long after dat.. (guess she was sick of e mistaken identities..cos of our names mainly :P) well.. she slimmed down..(& i got fatter :P) became prettier.. n 1 of the popular gals in school.. I lost her once.. to someone else.. (as in 'e best friends' relationships...) LoL!! So young & naive then.. But I got her back!! LOL!! But no one can really be ur bestest fren other than urself....haha...Serious!

Post sec times.. dat's when we got back together...

Closer... unexpectedly... E 4 us... Hehe.. Fate sure is funny sumtimes...

Well.. as a typical cancer.. she is fickled minded..& strong headed..(like e other cancerian :P).. 1 thing about her when we've planned.. & she calls it off.. cos she's got sumthing more urgent.. damn!! Really hate dat abt her.. Dun worry.. she knows dat too..:P

Oh.. no..!! See.. u've been far away from me soooo much.. dat I dunnoe wat nice things to write abt u.. lol!! Guess I can only recall if we're back together again...Haha...

Ok..

To my dearest Nonie...

I know ur going thru a rough time emotionally...Fingers pointing @ u...I do hope u can find e strength to fight it all...Fight for ur happiness, dear...Dun let others take it away from u...Even if it's ME!!

This day.. marks a year older...(& as always) a year wiser...Dun make mistakes u've done before..Cos only then, u only have urself to blame...Be strong aight?!

Happy 23rd Birthday...

Love u...

NaNa

Saturday, July 16, 2005 at 12:26 AM in I do remember ur birthday...

Once upon a time..

Once upon a time,

I asked which colour is the most appealing to you

In seconds your reply was blue

you asked if its got to do with the horoscope

Was dumbstrucked & ma answer was 'Nope'

I recalled you, said you'll love to see me in PINK

Wasn't ma flavour then and I went eek!

Was always denying that I was trying to impress

Anyway, already got that pink bra for ma breasts

Too bad, you ain't gonna see it now

Cos it seems like,we've drawn the line sumhow

Couldn't believe how much was wasted

can't turn around but be glad instead

At least you're still there when I need you

And the only time dat I do, is when I can see YOU...

Smile for me please.. & u always do in the least..

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 at 10:28 PM in In Within Me, So Sad

Down

Having ma heart beat mispumped again

When I looked down the memory lane

Recollecting & reminiscing the past

When you promised that we would last

Can't figure why I'm still like holding on

When you are the one who forced me to move on

Really meant to hold true

Even when I was gonna be the number two

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 at 10:21 PM in Just Being Sober

I Can Sleep Tonight

I couldnt even smile when I saw ur name

Wat else looking up at u wif all dat flame

Its u I see in my dreams

I did try by all means

Wouldnt want to cure dat wound

Dun believe ma life is dat doomed

Hurry up baby... come right over here

Where u stayed so near

Not as if u just exist..

Cos u've been waiting to travel in geist

Ain't wateva u gonna change me to

I dun care if its never gonna be you

Luff at me.. luff ur head off

Dun waste ur time.. blow e candles off

Has always been you..

Never want it to?

Its just a gift from me to u

On the day ur mum had you

Guess u wouldn't be happy at all knowing this

Ur not supposed to know dat u've been on e top of e list

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 at 10:55 AM in Just The Feeling For The Day, So Sad

S.E.

It was so wrong to fall for u in e first place..

I wasn't warned of dis phase..

Watever more trying pull u down to race..

But, thank u for making me there in 1 of ur days..

p.s: I know dis might not be e bes song...like u said...it myt not be love afterall... watever it is..

Happy birthday..

One Two Three!!!

I don't know why I'm still here

While you've been long so near

Why can't I see that you'll never be mine

Knowing you'll do just fine

Not sure if we went too far

Just to be here, back on the same par

Trying to believe wat we're having was marvellous

To realise dat I've always been NERVOUS

Getting maself out from the curse

But in the end.. it was ma brain that got burst

Dun want you to get caught up wif me too

Cos I hate to bring in sumone even if its you

Dun want me to be the reason ur pissed

Let me be alone to be dead of this

Wake up in the morning, talk maself out of it

But will turn hopeful back again at the end of it

Love isn't sumthing dat i wanna cheat

But i do want to figure out y e candles been lit

In & out I seem to be

Wif dat smile on ur face full of glee

Only time when i shall see

Is wen u've been set free

Dat I dun have time to count up to three

Am so sick of you dat I dun agree

Why the hell do you have to keep coming back to me

Like e germs n disease..

Wat u got there.. a flea?

Told u not to come back..

U came..n just have to say, "What the heck?"

Didn't u see wat I wrote on the deck?

Isnt it clear.. its written in white & black

Got another one for you

Aint gonna turn blue

Gonna split you in two

Gonna damn fucking kill you too!!

Sunday, July 10, 2005 at 02:15 PM in Just Being Sober

Love You More