It's ok, Mum

I made a new friend today, Mum
He asked for my number as I was walking away.
He asked me if I could stay, Mum
So I told him, "Perhaps, another day."

He texted me day and night, Mum
I couldn't resist cos it felt so right.
It was a feeling I couldn't fight, Mum
No matter how I tried with all my might.

He said he wouldn't hurt me, Mum
In my heart, I jumped with glee.
It felt like he hold the key, Mum
I asked myself if this could be

Then he asked, where have I been, Mum
"I've been there, just waiting to be seen."
Without hesitance he asked if I was keen, Mum
That's when I decided to let him in

Over time, I realised, Mum
That it was just a piece of disguise.
Pretty much, I was hypnotised, Mum
What I feared was being realised

I've been hurt again, Mum
When will I ever break this chain
Your child has turn insane, Mum
Have you ever felt this pain?

But then,
You are hurt more than me, aren't you?
You feel the pain more than I do, don't you?

I thought I'd let you know, Mum
I may needed it to let me grow.
Maybe it is time to learn to say no, Mum
Like you have always told me so.

Today he walked past me, Mum
Like strangers as we can be.
You know I'll be ok, Mum.
As long as you are here with me.

To Dr Grizzly and the likes

It has come to a point when you realise, you are not perfect.
And to embrace one's shortcomings are one of the ways to start accepting and love yourself first.
Cos no one will do that for you except yourself.

But for how long do you withstand ..
Being lied to
Being led on
Being stood up

For all the things that you think you try to do right.

Right from the start.
The hellos, the introductions, the impressing and be impressed.
The games are just too similar.

Sometimes I do wonder the strength that God has bestowed upon me, it's quite extraordinary when it comes to the dating department.

Don't start on love with me, because I am not even there yet when it comes to these Dr Grizzly and the likes.

Sometimes I wonder, how much of 'perfection' do these guys expect of me?

Then again, they are not perfect themselves, right?

So why made me feel like a scum, a piece of trash?

Was that their plans when they first knew me?

It always boiled down to.. I am not beautiful enough. I am not slim.

On second thoughts, why do I let them run my life like that?

Oh well.

To Dr Grizzly and the likes, thank you for affirming to me that most men go for looks. No matter how good you think you are, as long as you don't strut like a runaway model, as long as you can't try on the shoes on display because even your feet are on the plus size, as long as you can't fit in the size 'M' when you try out on clothes, as long as you don't look as good 24 hours, your chances of meeting the other half is almost close to zilch.

However, it also confirms to me that, you are not privileged to get to know me better.

Because one fine day, that the chosen one will be grateful that you have led me on, lied to me, broken my hearts multiple times, stood me up in the middle of the night and left me hanging, in search of finding him.

So I shall thank you in advance on his behalf.

Thank you Dr Grizzly and the likes for allowing something better to happen to me.