Turn Back Time

I was supposed to blog this out last night, but I couldn't think straight. Was feeling sick n e tummy was really aching. Prolly I ate too fast at dinner. So tonight, I am much better. Need to blog this out before e creativity runs out again. Hehe..

On the way back home yday, I was looking thru ma calendar and realised, e day before was a friend's bday. Correction - An old friend. Not really...an ex sch mate. N I realised, ten years has passed since the last time I gave her a bday present. I was trying to recall what did I gave her. But on second thots, I might not have gotten anything at all.. Hehe..

Ten years eh...

Have u ever thot of how things could be if u were given a second chance to relive that moment again?

I definitely do... a LOT of times. In this instance, I wish I could be given a 2nd chance 10 yrs back..Let's forward it a bit..9 yrs back.. to tell her that I am willing to forgo everything else..n wld ask for that friendship back..even at dat pt..I was really hurt n I thought, (still think) sumwhat..I was e victim.

U know e feelings, when u try to recall past events.. Those moments, dat made u proud, dat u wish u can repeat the particular events again n again. Angry moments, that u'd never thot u could just blow ur top n not feeling guilty abt it..N thot dat..sum ppl myt have just deserved 'em in e first place..N those hurting moments...that even e funniest joke or act is not able to let u put on a smile..or grin in e least. N those moments of committing mistakes n regrets...

Some ppl, (maybe like u, reading this) may look at me negatively and will tell me straight to ma face to move on. Believe me, I no longer am living in ma past like I used to few yrs back. Those times wld even be more difficult for me to handle, for I could just sit there, wondering, reminicsing, whining n sorts..in solitude.

But now, when I look back, I try to pick up e pieces. And if sumhow they're still in ma ctrl, I'd try to fix 'em back. But if things were not, I'll just let it be.. n try to understand e lessons being taught. N keeping in mind..These are all what God had planned... for He only knows what's best for me. But some other things..I can't help it n wonder what cld happen...Well..U noe e "What ifs?" Hehe..dat is sooo me..

So here. are some of e events in ma life (that I am comfy to share of course) that sumtimes I wish.. am given a 2nd chance at:

- That particular day in 97...to meet 'him' behind e sch canteen..Hehe.

- Early1998 Prank calls... akhekhekhe..

- April 2001 Shld have known better

- End 1999 shld have just gotten dat diploma!! *stubbornness got e better out of me*

- Mid 1991 if only I was careful, dat I didn't lose that piece of paper.

But then again, I'd just tell maself.

The path that I had taken, has made me into who I am today. And I am grateful that I am not any worse than now. And the path ahead of me, is just waiting for me to discover, explore, learn and live. And all with God's will.

But still...this wandering mind of mine..sumtimes fail to understand..