With the 'O' Level results released earlier this month, I felt anxious. I was looking forward to it. Despite the no-reply from NIE last year, I was determined to re-apply. I don't care if I am 10 years late. I even got Joy to see through my application. At least I know, I tried. And keep trying... Until when.. I don't know.
For the first time, mum had to go to hospital because of her heart conditions. Lately, she's been complaining a lot abt her chest pains. On a Sat evening, after consulting both ma bros... I decided to send her to the A&E.
The doctors informed me of mum's condition.. and the kinda procedures she needs to go thru to correct the problems.. Suddenly, I felt like a mum.. worrying about her child's condition. Knowing my mum.. she's scared to go thru this and that.. Looking at her worried face breaks my heart. Being a diabetic, high-blood pressure, heart patient, she has more risks than others. The doc went on and on abt e risks of the implications later. At that moment I regretted sending her to the hospital.
'Should have just let her rest at home'
I was kinda prepared to lose my job just to take care of her.. I couldn't bear leaving her behind at the ward.. bt had to when my eldest bro insisted that I should go back home first.. So as nt to make her worry abt me.. My 'to and fro' trips to the hospital.. kept me thinking.. That I am not ready to lose my mum.. will never be.. I lost my dad.. Who can I turn to if she's gone? I kept praying that nothing will happen to her.. She's now discharged.. and doing pretty fine.. When she's worried about something... I felt so helpless that I can't ease her worries.. knowing that nothing can be done..
She just turned 56 a couple of days ago.. and counting..
Finally, school holidays are over. Back to 'not seeing them for 1 whole day' days. Decorations are done.. And e kids are now all settled down.. no more crying upon reaching e ctr. hehe..
February is here...
Feb 1, '09 4:21 AM
No comments:
Post a Comment