A Point of No Return

Current mood:drained

8 months ago..
Prolly around this time, I was having that dream.. that started all of these.
Never did I expect, that things could turn out this way.
Nor did I wish that I will reach here. A point of no return.
Yes, it may not mean a thing to you. Or why don't I get the idea that u were never interested.
Trust me, I am done convincing myself. I am done telling myself to move on already. I am done wondering of the what ifs. I am done. Was about to. But every time when I did, you kept coming back. In my dreams.
It has never been easy for me. It is painful. And you think I am not practical or logical enough? You think I was not able to tell things apart?
At one point, I convinced myself that either I accept and continue to hope. Or drop everything else, and just move on. I chose the latter. Umpteen times. But time and again, I find myself hoping again.
I want my life back too!
I want my dreams back. I want all the things I wanted before I met you.
Don't talk to me about falling in love.
I didn't want it. Not yet. Not now.
I don't know.
And to know that you are still as lost, breaks my heart even more.

We only have God to depend on.

I am turning to a bigger fool than I already am.